Apparently a lot, since many brides nowadays question whether they should adopt their husband’s surname, keep their own, or opt for a compromise, meaning that they combine both their surname and their husband’s surname, separated by a hyphen.
The first option would keep with the tradition of marriage, and in many cultures, remains a requirement and not so much an option.
The second option might disconnect you from your “new” family and put you in a difficult situation at a time where you need to integrate.
The last option seems like a good compromise. That being said, the word says it all, “compromise” is just that, it’s a middle ground, no more no less. In addition, there are many considerations that need to be taken into account when choosing that last option:
- What will your children’s surname be?
- If you have daughters and they get married and choose to adopt the same philosophy as you, will that extend their surname too far? Meaning that their surname would in fact be a combination of three surnames. What about the generation after that?
- Would you expect your husband to change his surname to include yours also?
- Regarding general conventions, when someone wants to address you as a couple, they would normally write or say “To Mr. & Mrs. Johnson,” for instance. If both of you have a different surname, how would they address you two as a couple?
One of the main considerations for wanting to keep one’s surname is to perpetuate the family name as already mentioned and to keep one’s own identity. Indeed, in this society, aren’t we all equal? So, why do we have to pick one’s name over the other?
There are no right or wrong answers to this dilemma, as it depends on one’s set of values. That being said, one should keep in mind the far reaching implications of such a decision. Being married means being united. Having the same surname is a sign of unity. So what does it mean to have two different surnames?
For those considering changing their surnames, this kit might be useful: Official New Bride Name Change Kit.